Lingering Down Memory Lane
Even though it’s been two years now since I’ve been attending NC State, it still feels strange that I’m graduating later in December. I still remember when I first came to NC State’s campus. It wasn’t for college classes like you’d expect. Instead, it was for when I signed up for writing workshops aimed for middle-school and high-school-aged students called the Young and Teen Writers’ Workshop. I was just thirteen-years-old. And yes, this took place in The Department of Humanities and Social Sciences - so, I got to sit in classrooms from Winston Hall, Tompkins Hall and Caldwell Hall alike.
Of course, I loved my time there, and I learned so much from writers like Megan Roberts, Dr. William “Bill” Lawrence, the author of one of my favorite novels, “The Punk and the Professor”, and many others. I was there every summer from 2014 - 2017. Yes, it was a hassle traveling an hour from little Castalia, North Carolina to the big-city Raleigh, but it was worth it. I truly wouldn’t have the knowledge I had prior to applying for the B.A. in creative writing program had it not been for that program, hence why I’ve always been grateful for it.
I didn’t immediately start my undergraduate education at NC State University after graduating high school. My family couldn’t afford it, and more importantly, starting my time in college fresh out of being homeschooled my entire life in another city like Raleigh would’ve been too much. I wouldn’t have known anyone, it would’ve been harder to make friends, and I wasn’t street-smart enough to make it at the time.
So, I started at Nash Community College, in Rocky Mount, North Carolina. It was one of the best decisions I made. It quickly prepared me for the future. Of course, I was terrified when I first started off. I was scared I wasn’t going to do well both in the social and academic aspects, being fresh out of a life of getting an education from home and having interaction only with my family. But, I had a lot of support both from my family, professors, and my academic advisor, Deana, which I’m forever grateful for. Yes, I had my fair share of hardships, and trials and errors, but it was worth it, not just for me to graduate in the Spring of 2020, but for personal and professional growth.
“Graduation Pictures in Kure Beach”
One of my graduation pictures I took in Kure Beach. It was my mom’s idea to take my graduation pictures at the beach before I moved to Raleigh later in 2020.
The Published Ink Club - later renamed The Blue Love Creators’ Club - and Phi Theta Kappa both got me into leadership roles, too. I honestly can’t thank the advisor for both those organizations, Robin, for always believing in me. I also have to thank other professors such as Dr. Whistler, Dr. Hood, Professor Harkins, Professor Kent, Professor Milks, Professor Williams, Professor Hoffer, Professor Battle, and Professor Simon for always supporting me and for preparing me for NC State University. I truly wouldn’t have been able to get in if it wasn’t for your help and support. And of course, my friends from Nash Communtiy College, Timothy and Kaitlyn.
Eventually, the time came to start applying for colleges. Of course, NC State was the one I yearned to get into. I was there as a teenager, so I thought it would’ve made sense for me to come back. This time, as a college student. To my relief, I got in. I remember opening the email I recieved from them. It was an early decision, and I remember my heart beating out of my chest. To my relief, I got in. I remember crying and waking up my mom around midnight to tell her the news.
When I first came to NC State University, it was in the Fall of 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic. It was stressful, of course, having all my classes online. But, I had great friends and amazing professors such as Misha Lazzara (author of “Manmade Constellations”) and Caldwell Turnbull (the author of “No Gods, No Monsters” and “The Lesson”) who made it so much better than it could’ve been.
Unfortunately, not everything is the perfect. And the same goes for everything that’s happened in my life from 2020 till 2021. Of course, I also learned how to adjust to living in Raleigh, alone, since I had no roommate. Honestly, it was pretty difficult, especially since I lived right on Hillsborough Street, across the street from a CVS and beside a coffee shop and a bookstore. Lots of people, lots of traffic, and unfortunately, not a stranger to crime. My great-uncle passed away during the midterms season of the Fall 2020 semester. My grandmother then passed away six months later. I was a wreck. I had just lost two people who I was really close. Honestly, I lost some motivation to keep moving forward. I can remember all the times I’d sit on my bathroom floor with tears rolling down my cheeks and ask myself if I’m doing the right thing. At the same time, I was the first of her grandchildren to go to a university. Granted, she won’t see me graduate in December. But, I know it would’ve hurt her if I quit. And some of her last words to me were, “I don’t have to worry about you graduating”. So, I kept pushing forward, and I’m glad I did.
Natalia has been by far my closest friend, not just from State, but perhaps in my entire life. She’s seen me at my best and my worst. We met through a phonetics class and a introduction to poetry class we were enrolled in. Along the lines through that poetry class, we also met and created mutual friends, Michael, and Joshua, who is now a MFA in poetry student.
Michael, Natalia and I had a lot of fun adventures. I can remember all the times we’d have random adventures in my apartment or in any area in Raleigh, with Michael’s old car, Charlotte. One of my favorite memories is when Natalia accidentally threw Michael’s disk in a lake while we played disc golf. Another is when Michael was flipping out during chemistry homework in Talley and used his cell phone as a cold compress. Those were by farthe highlights of my first year at State, and I can’t thank them enough for that.
Natalia, Jordan and Michael all at a disk golf park we visited during one of the wellness days in the Spring 2021 semester of NC State
To my surprise, in-person classes returned in the Fall of 2021. I had a full schedule: intermediate poetry, language and gender, elementary Spanish, science fiction literature, and a graduate-level course, Middle English literature. And of course, Natalia, Joshua and I were all in that poetry class, taught by Eduardo Corral, the author of “Slow Lightning”, and it was one of my favorite classes during my time in NC State.
With a schedule like that, I practically lived in Tompkins, Winston and Caldwell Hall. But, I didn’t mind it, since I felt like I was having some normalcy back in my life and I finally got to get out of my apartment more.
However, I was pretty intimidated at first, especially by the grad-level class which I took because of my affiliation with English Honors. There were only two undergraduates in that class, and I was one of them. It also didn’t help to recieve the “Jaws” theme song from a friend of mine on the first day of that class. To my relief, the class was far from what I expected. It was fun. I actually fell in love with the discussions of “Sir Gawain and the Green Knight” and even “The Showings of Julian of Norwich”. The way the stories were structured actually influenced me in my writing, and I’m beyond grateful for that class.
I became friends with almost everyone in that class, notably, a few people. First, there was Tyler, who had characteristics like my brother, always adding humor to our discussions, and he was a Nash County native like me. So, it was always fun interacting with him and talking about life back home. Then, Claudia, who was always friendly and hilarious.
And her close friend, Ian, who majored in literature. He was more reserved than her, but friendly - even though he’d try to sarcastically deny it. I ended up getting pretty close to him, primarily since we had a lot in common, even though we seemed like polar opposites on the surface. To be honest, I’ve never really had a friend of mine enjoy or be so interested my writing quite like he has. And it stretched beyond him being a fellow writer and someone who loved reading. I really think it was because he was genuinely interested. He always wanted to know about my writing and even read my poetry and “Zero Gravity” when it was a short story.
I think that kind of support is so important for anyone to have. When you recieve support from your family, you kind of already expect it since they’re your family and you know they’ll love and support you no matter what. But, when it comes from someone from the outside that you’re just getting to know, it brings a new perception of yourself and gives you motivation. Because you can’t help but think, “Well, this person believes in me, so I must be doing something right.”
Tyler and Ian were the ones to really be invested in “Zero Gravity” first, especially with the concept of random gravity loss. So, I went along with it. And as a way of saying “thanks”, I named some of the characters in the novel after them and Claudia.
Later in the Spring semester, I met Louie, another friend of mine. He was quiet, but was extremely smart and well versed in literature. I always enjoyed talking about readings we had for two classes we were enrolled in, literature of space and place and North Carolina writers. They were two fun classes, especially the North Carolina writers class taught by Dr. Bennett, which also gave me inspiration for my third novel, “Zero Gravity”. I was particularly drawn by southern goth in that class. The concept of deeply flawed characters, mystery and suspense drew me into adding those concepts to “Zero Gravity”. If you’ve ever read the novel, I hope these elements have shown through! No spoilers, but I somewhat think they do, especially in characters such as Uncle David, Marlowe, and Jayden Carson.
And further along in the Spring semester, I became involved with the English Club. Everyone was always so nice and supportive. To my surprise, almost everyone loved “Zero Gravity”. I honestly can’t thank everyone there enough not only for being so friendly, but for all the help with “Zero Gravity” - Holly, Bryce, Bella, Caryl, Destry, Tuesday, Duke, Mac, Callihan, Skye and many others. And later, I self-published the novel, which was picked up by Barnes and Noble, Books-A-Million, and Quail Ridge Books of Raleigh. I even had the honor and joys of being in an interview with Technician, as well as talking about “Zero Gravity” in front of grad students - which has been two major highlights both in my personal and professional life.
Some of our English Club members. From left to right: Caleb, Sarah, Skye, Grace, Holly, Tuesday, Bryce, Duke and me
Now, here I am, about to graduate. I have been through a lot during my undergraduate college experience. But, I can look back and be proud of myself for pulling through even through the hardest times.
